Mar 4, 2014

part 13

    “Well dinner’s pretty much a write off with the exception of the salad and dessert.  So we’ll have to come up with a backup plan.  That’s if you happen to still be hungry.  I’m not after all that.” I scraped the charred remains of what were once a couple of perfectly grilled steaks, grilled zucchini slices, roasted red peppers and portabella mushrooms into the trash bin.  “Nope, not really, I’m more concerned about us and making sure we’re okay.  How about we pour a couple of glasses of wine and go sip them out on the back deck and just talk.  We can make something later if we get the munchies or order some take out.  How’s that sound to you?”  “That sounds good to me.  No more chores tonight, other than tossing in the last load of laundry I tossed in the washer into the drier.  It gets that funky odour to it if you don’t and you have to rewash it.  I go to that and meet you on the deck.  I padded off down to the basement to take care of the laundry.

   When I returned Liam was waiting for me on the deck in the backyard..  Two glasses of red wine rested on a small table between two chaise lounges. He turned from where he’d been standing, more than likely admiring the beautiful sunset that was brushing the sky with a dazzling array of colour. I noticed he had a black hard covered book in his one he approached me. “Are we going to build a bonfire and have a ritual sacrifice of your “little black book” as I believe you gentlemen refer to them? Making sure I don’t accidently find it one day and go ballistic because you’d never bothered to get rid of it? I smiled at him in an attempt to make light of our earlier misunderstanding over a similar little hard covered book. “No, it’s nothing like that, but I do want to share this with you.  You weren’t the only one keeping a journal about your feelings. I couldn’t bring myself to say hello to you or even ask you out for a simple cup of coffee so we could talk, so I did one of the things I do best, I wrote about it.” He hesitated a moment and took a deep breath before he continued.   “After what happened earlier I just felt I should share this with you.  Correction I want to share it with you. I know you’ll understand the intensity of what went into the writing of it and the deeply felt emotions that I try to express.  So I’d very much like you to read it, and hopefully you’ll understand me just that much more when you finish reading it.”  “I will, just as I want you to read my inner most thoughts and struggles with my own insecurities, but not tonight.  It’ll be better if we wait until we’re both more grounded after tonight’s upheaval of emotions.”
    “I concur whole heartedly with that.  You’re a pretty smart cookie Lorelei.” And I felt as if my heart would burst with love for her in that moment.  She’d come into my life when I had least expected it, and had managed to capture my heart without having ever said a single word to me.  There was something about her aura that had drawn me to her and now bound me to her.  I set the book down on the table next to the glasses of wine and held my arms out to her.  She came to me with no hesitation and my arms encircled her waist and drew her near to me.  Her head resting against my chest, I just wanted to hold her forever.  I was still struggling with the fact that I had allowed my own insecurities to allow me to doubt her. She deserved far better than that from me and I was going to do my best to ensure that it never happened again. I kissed the top of her head gently.

   Her hands began to caress the small of my back, gently reassuringly, as if signalling to me in her own wordless way that this too would pass and we’d be better, stronger and even closer after what had happened. We stood there for ages just holding one another.  The sun had set now and the stars were starting dimple the sky like twinkling fairy lights on a Christmas tree.  The chirping of crickets and the soft twitter of birds provided an enchanting little symphony to further set the peaceful scenario. A tight squeeze and I finally broke the silence as I peered down into her upturned face and held her eyes in my steady gaze. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Lorelei.” And I leaned down and kissed her with a gentle tenderness that overwhelmed me.  She was able to evoke emotions in me I’d never experienced to these depths before, it as though she had bewitched me and I was under her spell.

   “Very nice” she murmured at me “Very nice indeed” and she stretched up on her toes and reciprocated with a kiss that left me with the knowledge that her love and devotion to me were going to be constants in my life.  “Let’s grab our wine and make ourselves more comfortable over there on the love seat.  We can watch the stars together and talk some more I suggested to her.  I picked up the glasses and moved over and sat down. She immediately curled up beside me her feet tucked up under her and accepted the glass of wine proffered to her. She cuddled into me resting her head on my shoulder.  I transferred my glass to my other hand and wrapped my arm around her pulling her closer.  “Talk that’s all?” she inquired coyly and batted those big beautiful blue eyes of hers at me, as she stretched up ever so slightly and nuzzled my neck playfully.  I loved the way she could appear to be both so innocent and such a seductress all in the same instant.

   “Well you might be able to entice me” he said seemingly mulling it over looking for all the world as innocent as a lamb, but his eyes told a completely different tale as I saw the devilish glint in them. I took a small sip of my wine.  “Well I’d hate to lead you astray or corrupt you.” I said looking at him over the rim of my glass. We clinked our glasses together in a wordless toast to each other and each took a sip solemnly then burst into a fit of giggles together.  “So tell me something, do you think tomorrow will go well?  I have to admit I’m kind of nervous about it.  Especially if your family find out we spent the weekend together this soon into the relationship.” I blurted out after our fit of giggles had subsided.  “Listen to me” he began in a soothing tone “I know this might seem sudden and rather impetuous to a lot of people, and I’d probably have concerns if this were someone close to me getting so serious so soon.  This is about us though, and we aren’t starry eyed teenagers.  We’ve both experienced life, and we know who we are and what we want out of life.  You and I both know in our hearts that this relationship is meant to be.  
     We’ve got this bond and nothing or no one will ever break it.  Sure we’ll have a few glitches and we’ve had a couple already, but we deal with it, and come out of them stronger am more committed to making this work.  You and I aren’t part of this disposable society we live in Lorelei.  We believe in putting the time and effort into the things we want, and we want each other, simple as that.” He brushed his lips against my brow and gave me a little squeeze of reassurance.  “Besides if they do give us any flack I’m fully prepared to tell the whole lot of them they can “Póg mo thóin” he added with stout resolution to his voice. “LIAM!! I’m shocked!  That’s very naughty of you!!” I scolded him.  “Don’t you dare, even think about saying that to your family if they offer any resistance to us being together.” He gave me an extremely quizzical look in return.  “You’re up on your on your Gaeilge phrases?  That’s going to score you brownie points with my folks straight off the bat.  They are both very old school in a great many ways.  They’ll be thrilled to know you know at least a bit of the mother tongue.” “Liam darling, I sincerely doubt that your parents would be thrilled to having you essentially telling them to “kiss your arse” if they aren’t tickled pink about the fact that I’m now in your life and here to stay.” I added to him softly.

    “No, I suppose you’re right on that account, and you know I’m not the sort that’s disrespectful towards my elders, but they will have to accept that this is my life, and I’m going to lead it.  I think we are jumping the gun here though and imagining the worst case scenario.  Amazing how we humans often go there first in our thoughts then get all worked up and waste a great deal of time and energy being paranoid over something we don’t have any control over in the first place.  Honestly though I think my family will adore you.  Molly and the kids are already fans of yours.  Just be you and we’ll have a great time tomorrow.”  I knew he was right and whatever was going to happen would happen, so there was no use of me getting stressed and fretting over it. “I know your right.” And I took another sip of wine in an effort to fortify my nerves regardless of the fact that logically I knew he was right about all of this. I giggled.  ”I think I’d better lay off the wine or I’m going to get a bit tipsy on my empty stomach.” “Afraid I’d take advantage of you if you did get tipsy?” Liam asked me.
     “Nope, not at all I know you’d want me to be very present and acutely aware of everything that was happening and all the sensations.” I answered him quite truthfully.  “You’re right about that.  I am curious though if you have some idea of what our first time making love would be like. I mean do you have it all thought out what your ultimate experience would be.  You know like a trail of rose petals to the bedroom, having me carry you in my arms and gently laying you on the bed while we slowly undress each other and make love slowly and sweetly. Or do you think it will be some explosive impulsive act of passion with frenzied frantic needs?” he inquires as he looked me in the eyes, as though trying to decipher what my answer would be. “Liam” I said meeting his gaze and holding it “I believe that some things in your life you can‘t plan for you just have to let them naturally unfold, and they’ll happen exactly when, where and how they are supposed to.  Yes I have thought about the moment we first make love to each other and I’ve even dreamed about it, but it’s never been the same way twice.  Each time was mystical, magical and perfect in its own unique way.  The thing that made them all perfect to me though is the fact that I shared it with you. You are the only thing I need.” I said softly to him. 

      His eyes were filled with such love for me in that moment, and a sense of relieve seemed to sweep over him as well that I was not holding him up to some romantic ideal that would be impossible for him to achieve. “Things always work out so beautifully in novels, poetry and films about making love but reality is while making love is perfectly natural but that doesn’t make it naturally perfect.  I don’t care because as long as it’s the two of us, it’s going to be a memory for us to treasure, and to me that’s as perfect as it can possibly get.” “Perfect” he mumbled as took me in his arms and oh so gently and softly drew his lips to mine.  The kiss was just that perfect, to me everything about him was perfect, even the way he pushed my buttons on occasion and ruffled my feathers there was still no one else that I wanted, the way I wanted Liam. “It’s beautiful out here this evening, think we might get to wish on a shooting star together?” I asked in a awe filled voice as I gazed at the starlit sky above us and felt the tenderness of Liam’s embrace.

      “No need to.  I have everything I’ve ever wanted in life right here by my side.” He said as he gave me one of those dreamy smiles of his that warmed the cockles of my heart.  How I loved this man by my side and now that he was in my life I couldn’t imagine my life without him.  I knew he was the one it was as though I had known it since the moment I had first laid eyes on him.
I nuzzled his chest “It’s getting late, think we should consider calling it a day and turn in for the night.” I asked him softly. “Suppose so” he whispered back a note of regret hanging in the air as he did.  

    Despite the fact she’d be in my arms as we settled in for the night, I still regretted the moment we were in ending.  After the earlier upheaval of misunderstanding and the myriad of emotions we’d been through I revelled in the moment of peace and calm we now shared. “I’m just going to grab a quick shower first, just want to clean up.” I said.  “Sure go ahead” she responded.  “I’ll just pop downstairs and grab the laundry to fold while you do, one less thing to do in the morning.” She added sounding practical in a way that only women seemed capable of doing. “Okay coach, I’m off to hit the showers.” I said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.  I picked up the glasses to put rinse out and put in the dishwasher on my way.  She in turn picked up the journal and followed in to the kitchen. 

     I padded off to the bathroom, flipped on the light switch, and turned on the shower, adjusting the temperature, before stripping down and stepping in. The hot water felt soothing, as it cascaded down over me.  I grabbed a wash cloth, wetted it and added a couple of squirts of body wash to it. I smiled as I placed it back on the small shelf, next to some of Lorelei`s things. To me it was as though a natural order of things had finally been balanced in my life. I lathered up lost in my thoughts, feeling the soapy cloth sliding over my chest, neck, arms, and legs. 

  Liam was still in the shower when I finished folding the laundry and brought it neatly folded in the laundry basket into the bedroom.  I could hear the spray of the water as it fell against the tiles of the shower. I busied myself pulling open drawers, as I deciphered where his various articles of clothing belonged, desperately trying not to think of the stunning good looking man in the other room, who was currently naked, which the mere thought of caused me to panic.  Finally the only thing I was left with was pile of clean towels which obviously belonged in the same room that Liam now occupied.  The big dilemma was did I enter now or wait until he was finished to put them away.  I felt as though I were in a movie with the an angel and a devil each perched on an opposing shoulder, volleying comments back and forth as to what I should do now. “Go on you know you want to look, catch a glimpse of your nude Adonis.  He’ll never know. What’s the harm of it?”  I gulped and flushed, it would be so easy to give in as I yearned to see even the silhouette of his naked form in all its glory.  To watch the way he bathed himself.  To learn the way to he touched himself so that when the time came I wouldn’t appear clumsy or awkward to him. I wanted to please him to be able to give him pleasure as naturally as if I were an extension of his very being.

      The saintly little soul on the other shoulder was equally vocal in my head.  “Is this really the way you want your first intimate encounter to begin?  Don’t you want to experience the thrill as you grace each other with the ultimate gift that of giving yourself to each other?  I was completely torn by my conflicting emotions and desires, part of me just wanted the rush of being with him, the raw unbridled passion, and the opportunity to unleash it. The other side of me wanted to hang in there to have the slow subtle seduction, the titillation that came from it, allowing it to build to a thundering crescendo as we took our pleasure in each other. To be bathed in the glory and ecstasy of finally coupling with him a time that would be so meaning and spiritual to our hearts and souls.  Still embroiled in my debate with myself I didn’t hear Liam turn off the shower or the soft tread of his step as he entered the bedroom emerging from a cloud of steam.  He took my breath away.  Clad only in a large white towel wrapped around his waist, his hair still damp.  So strong, so virile, so enticing, he was beyond handsome, and yes my heart rate quickened.

      I was a bit flustered to see Lorelei standing their looking endearingly comical in her distress over my unexpected arrival and state of attire.  I had to admit I felt rather awkward in this situation myself.  Thank god I hadn’t pranced out here naked as a jay bird, as I often would have had I been alone. “I’ll go grab my bathrobe, be back in a jiff.” And on that note I slipped back into the bathroom, removed my robe from the hook on the back of the door, slipped it on shook off the towel and made sure that  I was firmly belted at the waist and that nothing that might be deemed unseemly was making a special guest appearance as it were. I came back out into the bedroom and she quickly slipped past me with the towels still grasped firmly in her arms mumbling about just putting them away quickly.  I think we both needed a moment to regroup. Mentally I began to lecture myself “Steady old boy, things like this are going to happen.  You are going to have thoughts about making love to her like you did while you were in the shower, and if you are going to cohabitate even occasionally like this situation like this are bound to happen.  I want her, I can’t deny it I want to explore and worship every inch of her, I want to pleasure her, make love to her entwine her soul with mine.”

   I found the storage space for the towels and stowed them away. I needed to catch my breath I was on the verge of hyper ventilating and my heart was racing. To me Liam was the most handsome man that had ever lived.  It was everything about him but especially those eyes of his.  They were so expressive, the way they could bore into your consciousness and know your deepest thoughts.  Eyes that were kind and I knew he had the love in his heart to back them up. Not to mention the passion they could convey with a single heart stopping glance.  I wasn’t exactly immune to the charms his athletic build nor to the strength of those arms when they held me tight and cradled me against his chest.  I wanted to have those long legs of his entwined with mine. To feel his body next to mine, to know the sensation of him entering me slowly and deliberately as he held my eyes in his steadfast gaze.  I wanted to experience the sweetest joy I would ever know being one with him, uniting with him, giving myself to him completely. To…. my thoughts were broken.

    “Lorelei you okay? I didn’t mean to startle you earlier dressed like that.  Guess I’m just used to it just being me here is all.  I’ll try to be more sensitive and careful in the future, at least until after we’ve reached a stage where we are both comfortable with such a level of informality and intimacy.”  “Tis okay” she answered softly. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her and drew her near. She automatically nestled her head into my chest and clasped her arms around me in response.  I could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest, and felt the small trembles in her body. I looked down into her eyes and I knew in that moment what she wanted. “Are you sure?” I asked her softly stroking her hair back from her face. She bit her quivering bottom lip and gave a barely perceptible nod of her head. “Answer me my love.” With an underlying urgency in my voice I pleaded with her to answer me even though I knew the answer in my heart which was singing a joyous song. “Yes, yes a thousand times yes Liam. I’ve waited a life time to find you.” She replied her eyes shining brightly, with such love and tenderness for me that it took my breath away and time for me stood still.

The Tale shall be continued, just click on the "chapters" button up on the top right  for more! 

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